Love Completely without Complete Understanding 

​December 30th, 2025​

 

​​​​​​​I'm back in South Korea for winter break. One of the perks of the holiday season is getting everyone together and continuing family traditions that can only be done in person. My personal favorite is weekend movie nights. Sometimes we pick from a list of classic films my parents put together and other times go rogue, gambling with whatever movie is trending that month. Sure, you can do movie nights on FaceTime but it's just not the same. Not having that in-person, nostalgic feel where you can hear the slight creaks of the couch every time someone gets up for chips or have to rewind because the doorbell rings in the middle of the most important scene makes a pretty big difference. For better or worse, it's just not the same. 

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On the way back from picking up some groceries, my dad and I were talking about fishing. The conversation starter must have been people standing on the tetrapod concrete blocks fishing on the Busan Bay that morning. Despite living right by the coast, we never got into fishing. I think my grandfather may have dabbled but that tradition didn't get passed down. As we strolled by the early birds casting their rods, my dad mentioned he had recently watched the film A River Runs Through It with mom while I was still in school. I was familiar with some of Robert Redford's work but not this one. "I can't remember exactly, but the movie had something to do with fishing. I honestly don't remember the plot but it was so powerful. I don't know why but it was probably a top-three movie for me." It was not a very convincing pitch until he pulled out the "top-three" card. He's usually serious about his movie picks so that was a statement. 

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Though A River Runs Through It was somewhat planned as my dad had it stored away in his mind, I felt like this was one of those rogue movie nights. I knew the film had to do with fishing, a young Brad Pitt was part of the cast, and Redford was the master behind it all. Odds of a "good" movie night were decent but still a toss-up.

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I'll save a more detailed review for another time, but this was easily one of my favorite films. Giuseppe Tornatore's Cinema Paradiso still sits on the throne, but the 1992 film inched its way into my top-ten list. Based on Norman Maclean's novel, A River Runs Through It is a complex story about brotherhood, family, inner peace, and finding purpose through constants in a world of variables (in this case, a love for fly fishing and family).  Maclean's original book is on my 2026 reading list, and one of the first things my family agreed to do is rewatch the film in 5 or 10 years when we all will likely have shifting priorities, values, and reflections on purpose. I understand why my dad initially described the movie the way he did. The movie doesn't have some mind-blowing plot or special sauce, but instead finds beauty in simplicity - also one of the reasons why I love Cinema Paradiso. Navigating relationships with two siblings where the road isn't always smooth, exploring tensions in religion as a Catholic, and leaving home early for high school may have also helped me resonate with some of the broader themes. Without spoiling anything, I want to leave you with an excerpt from one of the final scenes which sums up what makes this movie so meaningful to me. ​​

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"Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing to help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding."

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Happy holidays and best wishes for 2026. 

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